


What May Never Be

by rezkat03



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Betrayal, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marco lives!, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28903560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezkat03/pseuds/rezkat03
Summary: Marco was left for dead, but he was not done fighting yet. He had too much to live for and, now, has vital knowledge that may lead to learning more about their enemy. Human and titan alike.
Relationships: Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 12
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

“Wait.”  
“Why? What are you in such a hurry for!?”  
“We haven't...even had a chance to talk this through!”

_They left me. ___

___No they haven’t left me, they’re staring. Watching me from the rooftop down the street. ____ _

_____How could they. Reiner. Bertholdt. Annie. Why? ____ _ _ _

______Marco was crying and heaving as panic took over. The shadow grew larger, eclipsing him. The titan behind him slowly reached down to pick him up. The grip was so strong. How could anyone fight a titan without ODM gear when they’re just so powerful? He tries to push at its face. Attempting to create as much distance between him and the monster but he cannot do it! He screamed. The first bite down was on his arm, he could feel the ligaments and muscle stretching. Pulling. Ripping out of him. Blood splattered on his face. Hot and warm dripping down from the gauge that was left of his left arm. He screamed, can nobody hear him scream? Where was everybody?_ _ _ _ _ _

______The titan scraped its nasty teeth across his face as it bit down on his arm again, he can’t see out of his eye. He can’t really feel anything either besides unbridled agony. He’s being eaten. Consumed like meat, like an animal._ _ _ _ _ _

______He feels the tugging as the titan rips another chunk out of his arm, almost up to his shoulder now. He’s not in pain anymore. Maybe the shock has taken over that this is really happening. Marco can’t focus as much now, but maybe that’s for the better. He hazily sees the three traitors turn and glide off. His ODM gear. Annie left it right? Did she really just throw it in the window or does she have it with her? Why did they do this to him? They were his friends. His colleagues. Fellow soldiers. They left him for dead just because he heard them talking nonsense? Or was it not nonsense? Who is he kidding, he shouldn’t think of treasonous liars in his last moments. He painfully looked towards the sky. It was so pretty. So many colors._ _ _ _ _ _

______Maybe he should think of his parents, or his friends instead. What would they think of him dying like this? They can probably just move on. But this is unfair. He had just graduated and he was going to join the military police regiment. He was going to fight for and protect humanity alongside his friends. But no. That’s not the case anymore. Maybe Jean was right. Fighting these things would just get them all killed. But also Jean was a fighter and a leader. He probably wouldn’t have been taken by surprise by Reiner. He could have fought back. But Marco couldn’t. He was outnumbered and out matched. And now he’s going to die._ _ _ _ _ _

______Or._ _ _ _ _ _

______Maybe._ _ _ _ _ _

______Not._ _ _ _ _ _

______Maybe not right now._ _ _ _ _ _

______He’s falling. Falling and hitting the roof on his back so hard he can’t breathe. The pain returns and erupts throughout his body. Sharp and unforgiving. Marco wants to scream but there’s no air and he’s gasping while tears stream out of his right eye while blood comes out of his other.  
He waits for the titan to finish him off but it doesn’t grab for him again, no something else caught its attention. It walks away. Maybe it’s heading to where Eren and the others are trying to close the hole. Nonetheless, it leaves him. Oh god. But now he has other things to worry about. There’s so much blood coming out of his side. Seeping into the brown tile underneath him. His face is just as warm and sticky._ _ _ _ _ _

______“H-hey.” he gasps out. “Somebody. Somebody please h-help me.” More tears pour out of his eye. He tries to turn his head, maybe there will be someone looking for him. The sun is setting, it’ll be dark out soon. Maybe one of his friends noticed he’s missing. If...if they’re all still alive too._ _ _ _ _ _

_______STOP IT! Don’t think that way. _He tries to calm down, he’s panicking again. Not just for himself but the worry that his friends may also be in trouble.__ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________What if Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie are getting everyone killed? If they really weren’t going crazy and actually meant what they said about opening the hole…. and humans like Eren can turn into titans. Then, could that mean they can really be the colossal titan and the armoured titan? But why did Annie betray me? She’s with them? Does she also have a titan? What if they get in the way of Eren before he can block the hole? Okay, too many questions and not enough time here Marco and if I don’t find help I’m still dead, even if the titan didn’t finish me off. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________With a deep inhale Marco leaned his weight on his right arm. Big mistake. Moving his left side even a little felt like torture. He can’t move, let alone stand up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I want to live. Please. I don’t want to die. Why. Why did this happen?” Marco sobbed over the cruel fate he is slated to have. He thunked his head back down and mourned his situation for a moment longer. A moment. Just a moment. He sucked in air, because a moment was long enough because he WANTS to live._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“I’m not dying, Reiner,” Marco mumbled under his breath, inching to the window Annie threw his gear in. He didn’t have a plan but he knew he had to do something. Crimson blood began staining the way as he dragged himself across the tile, while his body screamed at him not to move. But he had to, he had no choice. He had to survive. “You hear me Reiner? Not today. And you bet you and your liars are in for a surprise to see me again. Just you wait.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

“...marco....”

“...Marco?....”

“Oi, Marco! Did you hear what I said?”

Marco jerked his head up at the question. He was leaning against the banister outside their barracks and staring off into space when he heard the snappy question. Of course Jean was standing in the doorframe, a weird look gracing his face.

“Uh no. Sorry I was kind of in my head.” Marco rubbed his hair and lightly laughed with embarrassment. “What was that again?”

“You get lost while you were in there?” He shook his head. “Everyone’s heading to the dining hall, you coming or gonna just let Sasha eat your portions tonight?” Marco chuckled while Jean huffed out a laugh too.

“Maybe if Sasha eats my bread it’ll stave off her hunger until graduation. But yeah I’m coming…just, was gonna watch the sun set.”

Jean stared at Marco as he turned back to the horizon. “Well okay. I’ll leave ya to it I guess… I’ll save you a seat...and your bread.” Marco nodded a thanks as Jean walked past him. “But don’t you start relying on me to save your food everytime you want to watch the sky change pretty colors.” 

“Wouldn’t bet on it,” Marco smiled.

Marco watched Jean’s retreating figure and sighed. Only a few more days and they’ll be working in the interior among the Capital Police. They’ve been training for the past three years and finally worked their way up to be incredible soldiers. He can be honored with the duty to protect the king. He can really have a meaning to his life. And Jean, Conny, Sasha, heck, most of the top of his class will be safe and protected behind Wall Sina. He can even see his family in Jinae when he’s off duty. It could work. He won’t have to worry about food or fighting anymore. He can be safe.

But what about the rest of his friends that will go to the Scout Regiment? Marco clutched at the wood beneath his fingers, watching them turn a pale white. They’re the ones really risking their lives to save humanity. Working directly under the king is a privilege yes, but can he really just sit inside the interior and lay ignorant to what goes on beyond the walls? What if all of those who graduate in the 104th end up dying or getting mutilated on scouting missions. How can he just sit back and hear back weeks later that someone he knew and joked with for years, died in a matter of seconds. Marco shudders a little at the thought of hearing of anyone’s death.  
What are you even thinking about, you big oaf? Marco slapped his forehead and sighed. All you and Jean have been saying since day one of boot camp was you’ll be working as CP’s together. Why would you suddenly want to change it up literally days before graduation? What is the matter with you?

"You okay, Marco?" 

Marco jerked again at the new voice. He really needs to learn to pay better attention to his surroundings. Marco looked to his right to see Bertholdt standing on the wooden steps.

“Ah I’m okay! Sorry I told Jean I’d be coming to dinner after the sun has set.” Marco then realized the sun had disappeared from the skies. It was pitch black outside besides the illumination of candles around the camp. “Oh.”

“Well dinner is still going on, I just left early to get some sleep. You know how rowdy everyone can be after being fed.” Bertholdlt sighed. 

"I'm surprised to see you without Reiner, Bert. He goofing off with the others right now?” Marco questioned while Bertholdt huffed out a laugh. 

“Jean and Eren are at it again and Reiner is egging them on.” Bertholdt chuckled a little, “you would swear they’re like an old married couple the way they quarrel so much.”

“I think they’re just too much alike,” Marco replied with a grin of his own, “Jean really can’t help himself to find what makes people tick. And he just loves to poke Eren.” 

“Pardon my asking,” started Bertholdt, while Marco pushed off of the railing, “Why do you hang around Jean so much?” Marco gave him a quizzical look as he walked up to him. “He's kind of got an ego and still very hot headed. I’ve known the guy as long as you have and it’s still a bit surprising to see ya together.” 

Marco kind of stared at him for a minute and let out a small laugh. “Sometimes people like Jean need to put up a big show to distance themselves from others. I feel like a lot of people kind of want that barrier between themselves, you know, to make sure people don't get too close.” Marco looked down thinking about his fellow candidates. People like Jean, Eren, Annie, Ymir, and Mikasa all have kind of a cold shoulder to others when people just want to get to know them. He thought about making a joke at Bert’s expense about Annie but seeing as he had Bertholdt’s full attention he continued his thought.

“It’s a good tactic nowadays, a lot of people go off to war and never return. It kind of diminishes those feelings of loss. People drive others away by being cold or mean or blase over new advances...but it’s all in a sense to protect themselves. But I-I really don’t know how to do that even though it’s good to not get too attached to people.” He looked at Bertholdt again. “I kind of see Jean as a defensive guy, sure he’s not subtle about it, but he’s really funny and charming underneath those spikes. Like...a hedgehog trying to act like a porcupine...if that makes sense…” 

Bertholdt bursted out laughing at the analysis while Marco blushed. “Yah! I think I can kind of imagine that.” Bert chuckled a little more, “I don’t think it’s wrong to get close to people though, Marco. You’re a good guy.”

Marco smiled lightly but it soon vanished. He was playing with a thought in his head and decided why not to ask, “Do you think it’s foolish to join the MP? Like...do you think it’s the right choice to stay behind the walls instead of fighting off and figuring out the horrors beyond it?” Bertholdt gave him a curious look.

“...that’s a change in topic, is that what was on your mind earlier?”

“Kind of...we’re graduating soon. I want to protect the king. That’s why I came here and joined the military. But also I want to keep humanity from dying out. We’re all that’s left, right? And Armin has told me all about this crazy stuff that can be out there…. But I think I’m honestly just too scared....” Marco looked like he was gonna say something else but Bertholdt let out a sigh.

“I’m scared too, Marco. I’m staying in the interior cause I don’t want to see any more destruction or ruin. I’m scared for my life.” Marco nodded in sympathy.

“I guess we all get to make our decision soon. I just want my life to mean more than just another dying soldier. I’m not special...but I want to...matter.” Marco turned to walk past Bertholdt when the latter grabbed his shoulder. 

“You matter, Marco. To me, to Jean, to all those knuckleheads in the dining room. You just gotta decide where you’re destined to be. It’s all up to you.” Marco kind of scoffed at that but nodded.

“Thank you Bertholdt. I should go get food before everything is gone.” Marco turned again but stopped and turned. “You’re a great friend Bert. I really appreciate you.” Marco stuck out his right hand and Bertholdt hesitated for a second before smiling and grabbing it.

“I got your back, Marco.”

Marco smiled but then frowned at the pain slowly winding down his hand.

His arm is burning.

His arm is searing in agonizing pain and Bertholdt is still holding it.

What.

Why is he in so much pain. Marco tries pulling it away. It’s all over his arm, like razor sharp knives tearing skin from flesh. Why!? 

Why!? Does it hurt!?!?!

WHY?????

Why.

And then he wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually know if people in AoT know what a hedgehog or porcupine are. Maybe Sasha would know. I just thought it'd be a cute way to describe Jean. Also I hope these boys sound true to character. I know Marco wanted to be an MP but I thought maybe he'd have second thoughts cause who doesn't at big milestones in your life. And I guess I'll keep writing this story til I figure out where I want it to go.

**Author's Note:**

> Isayama released a sketch of Marco as an adult and it made me sad again about my poor boy. So I decided to write up a short little snippet about Marco...not dying. I'm not sure if anyone would be interested in reading this or if I should continue so if anyone would like that let me know.


End file.
